This is the last version of Evelyn I saw. I have not seen or heard from my daughter since November 7th, 2008. How is this legal? How is this fair? Why will no fucking court system pay attention to me? I don’t know what I can do, but I am at the verge of putting a fucking bullet in my skull every single night. I always wonder, “Maybe Jessica will have this on her conscience for a while.” Thing is she wouldn’t because she doesn’t have a conscience. The bitch doesn’t have a fucking soul. She’s a soul sucker, lips and all. And god damn if her prods aren’t ironing me! I load myself up artistically so I don’t feel this. I can’t feel this. Because when I do, I die momentarily, until something takes my mind off of it. My entire life is a series of small deaths, one after one, forever.
Earlier tonight, my sister was watching YouTube videos of babies laughing. She said “I wish I had a kid like that,” and I told her that “I have a kid like that.” But I don’t anymore. I had a daughter but she’s gone. She can walk now. I haven’t seen it once. I am sure she’s learning things every day and I am missing it. Does anyone know how that feels? If you do, please talk to me because nobody else I know does and it’s killing me inside, faster than I ever thought something could.What can I do? I am ready to throw my towel in tonight.
I just started following you yesterday. I don’t know you, and I don’t know the situation, but I hope this all works out for the better. Stay strong.
